Lucky me

September, October... same old, same old. My mother's been disastrously ill again, this time with a chest infection that just hangs and hangs, rendering her physically weak and all too easily depressed. If it weren't for the fact that my uncle lives within reach, I'd be on the brink of cancelling my Israel trip altogether(! please god don't make me have to do that) - I'm very glad he's on hand right now.

In an effort to fulfill the last of my late father's earthly obligations, Mum's heading off to Canada tomorrow - chest infection or no chest infection - with three teenaged grandchildren in tow. All I can do is wait and see how she is when she comes back. She's supposed to be joining me in Tel Aviv for a week in late December... assuming she's well enough to be left at all, assuming I'm given a three month Israeli visa, and assuming she's well enough at that point to get on an aeroplane. (I don't really think she is at present, but there are relatives at the other end who can/will take a lot of stress off her shoulders.)

This last week in particular seems to have been one long lurch from crisis to crisis, with arguments and misunderstandings (at work, at php.net and at home). It's left me sadly lacking in enthusiasm for anything much. Instructive, then, to spend an evening with a couple of people I hadn't spoken to in a long while. Gary and I had a long and turbulent friendship, which fell apart when he spread a hurtful and wholly untrue rumour about the way Floyd died - and continued to do so long after I'd asked him to cut the crap, primarily because he didn't know Floyd well enough to know how wholly untrue it was - he was so sure of Floyd's heroin addiction it must be me that had it all wrong, somehow, poor little victim that I am. Of course 'the closest are always the last to know' came into it... Eventually I told Gary, publicly and stridently, exactly what I thought of him, and naturally I brought up everything he'd ever done to upset me while I was at it. This was well over a year ago, probably nearer two years ago, I don't know. We haven't spoken since.

We bumped into each other yesterday and I got an earful from both himself and his girlfriend, who was present when I had my angry-and-upset moment. They've been tearing themselves up over it for nearasdammit two years. WTF?!

Life's much, much too short.

I bought them both drinks, spent the next five hours talking with them, made amends. So much desperate unhappiness there you could touch it.

I'd forgotten how lucky I am. It's good to be reminded sometimes :)